This is hard stuff

I work in a clinic with low income, medically and socially complex people. On average, the patient load is between twelve and twenty two per day. The pace is fast for primary care. Its not the ER, but its no cake walk either. I've adjusted, so far, pretty well to the pace and level of complexity. I think that this is because my life has been pretty stressful up til now. Now, I have to do two things really; work and take care of myself. Cake walk.

For those of you who don't really know what a Cake Walk is, here's your explanation. During a street fair in small town mid-west, the Ladies Aid Auxiliary or whoever makes a bunch of baked goods. A circle is marked out with numbers on the street. A flock of cake-loving contestants stand at each number and, while music plays, the contestants walk around the circle. Suddenly the music stops with each person on a number. A member of the LAA calls out a number and the one lucky person standing on that number wins a cake. Yay, cake!

But I digress.

So, the other thing I'm working on these days is forgiveness. It's a long story. But for the three of you who read my blog, you know what I'm talking about. I don't know if a person can really move forward and live without forgiveness. I stumbled upon this exercise on Pema Chodron's website (http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php.) Yeah, I didn't know that Buddhist monasteries had websites but here ya go. It is powerful.